The Habits To Do If You Don't Want To Grow As A Person.

Bonjour.

I wanted to talk about the bad habits, and not just any, but the ones that hold you back due to mindset and fear.

You're told to pick up habits that will help you improve and get closer to your goals and the future you desire.

But what about the habits that affect your mindset and development?

Both good and bad habits are psychological.

They arn’t taught or passed down.

It takes willpower to fully rewire the mind to drop bad habits or adapt to the good habits.

1. Not Being Selfish Enough

This might not necessarily be with people.

You’re not selfish enough to allocate time to the important things.

The things that help you grow.

If you can't know when to be selfish with your own time and energy, how can you expect to allocate time to help others.

The top 1%ers in their respective fields had to understand that to get to where they are, selfishness is a requirement.

And it doesnt need to be a negative thing.

You just have to understand when to be selfish and when to be selfless.

After being a people pleaser for the longest time, this is what I now do:

• I decide if it truly requires my energy, time and if it's important enough. If I know it’s neither then I’ll leave it out.

• I say no to things that don’t benefit me, making it known that my time is valuable.

• I now understand better what I need to function, to perform my best, and what I you can give away after those are prioritised.

• Exercise, alone time, sleep and deep work are all prioritised. These are the things that will help to get to where I want to be and to function well.

Growth gets lonely.

If you’re not used to making the sacrifices and hard decisions, you’re limiting your growth and potential.

And if you can't help yourself, how can you expect to help others.

Selfishness should be a necessity for the above.

2. Looking for others to tell you ‘how to start’

Like you, I had this terrible habit of asking "How do I start?" with literally everything.

We want our hand holding, naturally.

New workout routine? "How do I start?"

Want to get better at French? "How do I start?"

Thinking about writing that Thread? "How do I start?"

Planning my next trip? "How do I start?"

And you know what happens every single time?

I spend weeks researching the "perfect" way to begin instead of just... beginning.

The truth is, asking "How do I start?" isn't really about starting at all. It's about avoiding the scary part, the part where I might suck at something.

Because here's what I've learned from bouncing between fitness goals, half-finished travel blogs, and language apps I never opened:

You start by starting.

That's it.

When I finally jumped back into football, it was messy. I got winded after ten minutes and the shin splits killed me off early into the game.

But guess what?

I came back the week after.

and the week after that.

When I stopped researching ‘Best language learning methods’ and just dived into a random vocabulary book during my mornings, I actually started learning words.

Badly pronounced words, sure, but words nonetheless.

The people who figured stuff out before us didn't have perfect roadmaps.

The first person to deadlift didn't watch a form video.

The first travel blogger didn't have a content strategy guide.

They just did it. Made mistakes. Did it again.

So next time you catch yourself asking "How do I start?" with anything, I want you to do the simplest possible version of that thing within 24 hours.

No research.

No perfect plan.

Just action.

Go from there.

3. Complicating The Basic Stuff.

I was once a pro at taking the simple things and making them impossibly complicated.

I underestimated and undervalued the basics and fundamentals.

Like when I decided to get back in shape, instead of just doing basic workouts and going for walks, I spent two weeks creating a color-coded spreadsheet tracking 12 different metrics, researching the "optimal" protein timing and worrying about macros.

Guess how many workouts I actually did with that fancy plan? Three.

Meanwhile, I saw others taking action and instead of trying to control the perfect plan, they just hit the workouts and tweaked what they were doing down the line.

The same thing happened when I started writing.

I'd spend hours researching the "perfect" writing routine, setting up elaborate systems in Notion, and reading about story structures... instead of just writing stuff.

When you start something or have the ambition to start, it’s easy to use complexity as an excuse not to start.

I keep forgetting that the people making real progress aren't the ones with the fanciest setups.

They're the ones showing up and doing the simple thing over and over again.

So when you’re trying something new and you start to feel like you’re making it complicated, I want you to ask yourself, "What's the most basic version of this I could do right now?"

And then just do that.

My language learning method is just simple recall and review of words in podcasts or videos. Nothing complex.

My gym routine? Simple dumbbell exercises.

My writing? The ideas are from my head about my journey or things I’ve read that I can resonate with.

Simple really does beat perfect every single time.

4. Being Too Money Minded.

It’s a fact that a lot of situations can be changed with money.

There are certain things you can’t buy with money, but there are certain things that can change with it.

The purpose of money changes as you develop yourself.

One thing we tend to neglect is spending money on things that require investing in yourself, but then we splash out on coffee every day without hesitation.

Now I’m a coffee fiend, but even I know that I can save some £s here and there by holding back.

If you’re buying the latest designer stuff or some overpriced Labubu doll that Rihanna had on her bag, you’re clearly wasting, not investing.

When I finally bought a good travel backpack instead of using my falling-apart university one, my trips became so much more enjoyable.

When I paid for a proper Arabic tutor instead of trying to piece together free resources, I actually started learning.

Sometimes it can be a necessity to speed up learning and development.

The truth is, some things are worth paying for:

• Tools that help you do what you love better

• Experiences that create memories

• Services that save you time you can't get back

• Things that actually work instead of cheap alternatives that don't

Islam encourages neither extreme frugality nor wasteful spending.

I'm not saying go blow your savings on fancy stuff. But I'm learning there's a difference between being smart with money and being so cheap that you sabotage yourself.

My new rule: if it's something I'll use regularly for something I care about, I’ll buy the best version but also shop around.

An example of this is the DJI Osmo Pocket 3, a beautiful piece of tech that I was indecisive about for a while. Ultimately, I realised it was a good investment for my travels and if I ever wanted to take travel vlogging seriously.

My writing setup, my travel gear, my fitness equipment, and language learning tools—aren’t just random expenses. They're investments in doing the things that matter to me.

Understand that your perception of money is determined by your level of development.

As you get older and more established, you start to want more.

And don’t assume money is an evil construct that you’re not worthy of, it’s your attitude of money that changes as you develop.

It’s okay to be hungry.

But don’t let money be the sole reason for your hunger.

5. Holding Onto The Old, Comfortable You.

I used to always get annoyed about how I never stick to my language learning, while literally scrolling through Crunchyroll trying to find the next anime to binge.

"I just don't have time to practice.”

“I’m too tired, maybe tomorrow.”

While planning to watch three episodes of Lost, a show I'd already seen twice.

Then it hit me: I'm trying to become someone who speaks Arabic while still being someone who watches TV every night instead of studying.

Those at the top made the necessary sacrifices and put in the hours to get to where they wanted to be.

Why couldn’t I do the same.

This happened with everything I want to improve in:

I wanted to get better at football, but I still had doubts after every bad game, so I wouldn’t play for weeks.

I wanted to write more, but I saw myself as someone who "needed the perfect environment" so I waited for complete silence and the right energy level.

I wanted to travel more frequently, but I still identified as someone who "needed to plan everything" so I spend months researching instead of just booking the trip.

Then it hit me.

I can’t change my life without changing who I think I am.

I didn’t see myself playing football often. I changed that up and play multiple times a week now, even after bad games to improve my physical ability.

I used to think I was bad at languages, nearly quitting multiple times. Now different methods are imbedded into my schedule and routine daily, understanding that I need to build up my understanding rather than expect straight fluency.

I never expected to be a morning person, and I still struggle. But a 9-5 has helped me to become more accustomed to waking up, and getting into it to get closer to my goals.

Most of these identity labels aren't even true anymore. I just carry them around out of habit.

Perspectives from others showed me I was in my own head.

So when you’re trying something new, instead of trying to fit new habits into your old identity, act like the person you want to become.

• Want to speak a language? Practice for just 15 minutes every day.

• Want to write consistently? I'm someone who writes something every morning. Even if it's terrible.

• Want to be fit? I'm someone who moves their body daily. Even if it's just a walk.

The crazy thing is, once I start acting like that person, I actually start becoming them.

The personality traits that shape you to be ‘him’ or ‘her’. It’s the identity based triggers mentioned at the start.

You shouldn’t "feel like" a writer before you write. You’re writing, so you are a writer.

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The bottom line

You hear about the typical bad habits a lot.

“Dont consume sugar".

“Don’t sit down for hours.”

“Don’t scroll and indulge in mindless content.”

We all know it’s bad for us, and we know the negative side effects, but it’s something that we easily fall into.

That doesnt mean it can’t be limited and then stopped altogether.

The rewiring process comes once you start doing the opposite of those things.

The same goes for the five points above.

You have goals and aspirations to achieve.

But you won’t hit it if you don’t do the opposite of the five above.

• Start being more selfish with your time and energy

• Just start messy rather than asking ‘how to.’

• Master the basics and keep it simple.

• Let your perception of money change as you develop.

• Let that comfort go and get used to putting yourself through physcial and mental pain to grow and become resilent.

Your challenge for this week: Look at your journey. The interests you do and how they’re a part of your daily routine. Apply the five points and see if it helps switch up your perspective.

Apply this and I’ve done with my multiple interests and you’ll gain a new perspective while benefiting in ways you may not realise.

If you need some help with this or want to discuss it further, feel free to reach out on Instagram @liftlangleon.

It’s difficult at first, but don’t beat yourself up, beat the situation.

Till next time, peace.

LiftLangLeon